Waiting

I am no good at waiting.

I'm waiting for test results. These results will tell me whether or not I have a life-changing medical condition.

And it's weird, but I almost wish they would come back positive. Just so I had answers.

Because many times, the unknown is far worse than the known. At least if I know, I can do.

I hope they call today with the results. I've been waiting all weekend.

I was told the results would be in "the first of next week" and today is technically that day. Please, please, let those results come today. Either way. So that I know.

I'm tired. I just want to know.

Rough Start to the Day

My precious little one had an emotional morning today. Her pants didn't feel right. Her hair was tangled. She couldn't find her folder. She was tired. She was weepy.

I wish I could keep her home and make her feel better. I hated sending her off to school like that. I hated it. She's my baby.

I gave her a long hug and a back rub, reassured her how much I love her, and tried to be cheerful as I sent her walking to school.

She dragged her umbrella, head hung low, as she walked out of my sight.

I don't know what brings on rough mornings like this one, but it's tough to be a mom in times like this, having to do the grown-up thing, sending her to school despite her bad morning. I'd rather crawl into bed with her, cuddle her, hold her, console her, coddle her, and let her fall back asleep and try the day all over again.

But she'll be okay. And so will I.

And at the end of the day, we'll crawl into bed, cuddle, and chat. And all will be right in the world.